It has been a slog of a quarter. I have been tired and I have been cranky coming into July, and it’s probably why it took me so long to write this post. I have a lot of words.
I know on this blog I’m 100% a photographer, but my day job for the past three and a half years has been in graphic design. It’s a long story how I ended up here, the studio Sean and I started was really just supposed to be a side gig until my photography work picked up after moving back from Hong Kong. But the clients kept coming, and coming, and coming. So here I am 3.5 years later, Sandra Dans, designer at large, part time photographer.
I don’t hate it. In fact my career as a designer predates my being a photographer – I’ve been working on digital art and designing stuff since I was 13 and discovered that you could make fanart on Photoshop. And it’s kind of nice to earn my keep doing something that I can hang up at the end of the day and not feel completely consumed by. Design is a wonderful field; it’s kept us fed, we’ve met great people, we’ve created work that we are proud of. Also it’s really nice to be able to spend 90% of my time with my fiancé. That’s definitely a bonus.
But having said that… I am definitely missing photography in a major way. Maybe it’s just the distance making the heart grow cray cray, but I miss making pictures.
This post you are reading is a great example. It’s been near impossible to curate as I barely photographed anything casually in Q2. This is probably the least I’ve used a camera since I was a teenager.
I KNOW RIGHT POOR ME, she said sarcastically. If I didn’t also teach a photography class I’d wonder if it was possible for a master’s degree to physically drain out of someone. My students keep me sharp and keep my reference game strong, but WOW it’s not enough, it’s not the same as working full time.
Teaching might actually be the only thing that’s keeping my thirsty thirsty art soul alive.
I recognize that it’s a privilege to even be able to consider shifting between such unusual, competitive, and unstable career paths with any kind of aplomb. It’s surely a luxury to be able to swing it as either a photographer or graphic designer and still survive in this economy. I’m not really complaining i think, i’m just trying to rechart my trajectory a little bit so that I can do the thing I love, still pay the bills without worry, and also not yank the self-destruct cord on the thing Sean and I have lovingly built for the past three and a half years. These things need to outlive my involvement.
I’m trying to build Off Kilter Studio in a way that is more sustainable for me both artistically and financially. I’m definitely trying to transition into doing that full time. The transition must be smart; if i start relying on Off Kilter financially too soon, I’ll end up accepting clients just to make ends meet, and I’ll be right back where I was with weddings 6 years ago – jaded & disillusioned. So far, I’ve been really selective with my portfolio and clientele so that I can attract the kind of people I want to work with.
Not gonna lie, it’s slow. I suppose the market for weirdo wedding photographers that just want to stay out of your way, that have no interest in glamorizing your event, and that don’t own a drone (I have been asked this!) is kind of nonexistent at the moment. That’s okay – right now it’s an art project, and actually being sought out and paid to do your art project is a pretty sweet deal.
I knocked out a couple of maternity shoots for Off Kilter in the second quarter:
So these make me really happy. As long as i can keep working with fun, silly people, this thing is sustainable.
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